Quotes

1. I'm tired of trying, sick of crying, I know I've been 

smiling, but inside im dying.

2. I want to be remembered as the girl who always 

smiled, the one who could brighten up your day, 

even if she couldn't brighten up her own.

3. I just like playing games with people, I always hope

there will be someone smart enough to see through me,

but your all so stupid.

4. No more joy, no more sandess, no emotion, just

madness, I can't see, I don't feel, I can't touch, I

don't heal.

5. Behind this innnocent smile of mine, lay words 

left unsaid, words of longing, love, anger, and hate, 

all repeated inside my head.

6. If your asking if I need you the answer is forever, 

if your asking if I'll leave you the answer is never, if 

your asking if what I value the answer is you, if your 

asking if I love you the answer is I do.

7. Nobody really cares if you’re miserable, so you 

might as well be happy.

Merry Christmas

A little Christmas

Lets see... Christmas is coming & so is the end of the year. Lets reflect on what we have learned this year. We made new friends & lost some old ones but we will never forget the ones we knew.  

Some days we always think about what we don't have but never think about what do have. We let are selves believe that everything has been fine during the year or that nothing has gone the way you wanted, but in reality somethings worked out somethings haven't.

Some days we need to let go of something that don't really make since that will one day make since. You need to feel the rush of the new year coming & the old year ending. To reflect on some of the things that have happened. So remember what happened this year & what is to come in the following years.

Catherin

Jan.16, 2009

Dear Diary,

My 15Th birthday is coming up. I’m not so sure I wish it to come. My father tries too have me find someone special. Some who will protect me and love me forever. My mother (being as she is) wants me to learn the ways of being a women. Which I find stupid. I already know how to cook,clean, and do everything that any female in the tribe can do.

What I do not understand is why I can’t just be me and not be like every one else. Now as I write I sit under a tree by the lake side remembering all my fun times I had there.

When my father took me and my twin brother, Acinn, down to the lake to go fishing we had only been 5 at the time but I remember it also clear.Some days I wish I could go back to those days.

Catherin

Jan.18, 2009

Dear Diary,

Today is my birthday. When I got up this morning I could smell sweet pancakes being made. I could hear my family getting ready for me and Acinn to come down stairs.

I always liked to go out at in the morning to go for a morning jog. But as it seems this morning I would not being going out for my morning jog. I walked down stares with Acinn beside me. “Catherin happy birthday.” He said to me that morning.

I had try to say it back but we had already got to the bottom of the stairs and got hugs and kisses from your mother and father, grandmother and grandfather. After your morning party, I left to go down to the lake. When I got there the sun had already started to set. The moon was starting to rise high and higher in the night sky.

Then I saw the most amazing thing out on the lake. It was the lakes spirit.She told me that I could have two wishes. I knew what I wanted I wanted my old life were I was treated not like the girl I am but as me. I made my wish and she said when I’m ready to make my second wish just to go back to the lake when the moon is high.

Catherin

P.S: I love having this; my wish is going to come true. ^_\\

Jan.19, 2009

Dear Diary,

I woke up this morning this morning thinking I had dreamed it all up.But when I went down stairs to go for a jog my father came up and asked me if I wanted to go fishing. I was surprised. XD But yet at the same time scared.

I hadn’t fished in a while. So I had told him that I would pass. That I was going to go sit under a tree some were. I didn’t want to tell him about last night I hadn’t even told Acinn. Who I didn’t seem to see any were. I thought that maybe he had left earlier this morning to go read. But his book was beside his bed.

When I left, some of the guys in my tribe waved at me and asked if I wanted to wrestle. Which kind of scared me but yet somewhat exited. I told them maybe some other time, right then I wanted to go to my tree.and

Someone once told me that “Someday everything will all make perfect sense.So laugh at the confusion, smile through the tears, and keep reminding yourself that everything happens for a reason.” Well I see what they meant now. Everything does make perfect sense. And I like it. //_^

Catherin

Jan.21, 2009

Dear Diary,

I am back to my studies of your langue. I have learned how to say fireit is tatá.Abámorubixaba. Sy ybytu. My py'a is the only thing that can guide me onmy journey.

The healer in your tribe wants to teach me how to use herbs to help when someone gets hurt. He says that I need

ka'api kuri yba ybotyra soba. Something doesn’t feel right I haven’t seen Acinn in two days now. I hope he’s okay. I asked my father if he has seen him and he said I haveno brother. That’s what made me wonder if that wish I had made was a good on or not.

Catherin

   Jan.24, 2009

Dear Diary,

I got up and ran down the stair this morning so I could get to the lake before sun set.

I had gone to the river side and had sat there for several min. tell the moon came up rising higher and higher. And just as the night of my birthdays, I saw her; I had been doing some research on her. Her name is Angeni meaning spirit angel. She is known of her looks and granting wishes to the young people of my tribe. She does that to teach them a lesson. What lesson could I learn? All I wanted to do was be treated not as the chefs’ daughter but as me.

She looked to me then to the water. I moved to the water’s edge not stepping in but close enough that I could feel the chill of the winter water. She asked me what my second and final wish was and this time I was very precise at what I said. “I wish that Acinn was back and that everything that happened hadn’t happened, that everything that I had wished for did not happen.” That was my wish I ran as fast as I could back to my home just as the sun was starting to come up. I saw Acinn sitting outside waiting for me. I was so happy that he was back, that I didn’t know that I was crying. I was just too happy I told him “Happy Birthday Acinn”.

Catherin

The Letter

Dear Aderihan,

This is about one in particular person her name is 

Lotheidien. She is 10 years old. She goes on an 

adventure to discover who she is & what she can do. 

Lotheidien gets into trouble all the time, the bad girl, 

as some would say. She had run away from home 

when she was 5 never wanting to return; now she 

must to save her twin brother. As she does so she will 

face many problems on her way to becoming a true 

hero & not the thief everyone believes her to be. 

Some say she's a ghost with her white hair & pasty 

weight skin. Being that she never really try’s to stay 

out of trouble… makes her a special type of hero. 

This is my hero & this is her journey. She must find 

the hero with in herself & be willing to take actions 

in to changing her ways & others.

Yours Truly,

Accailia

"My Grown Up Christmas List" The Song

Do you remember me

I sat upon your knee

I wrote to you

With childhood fantasies

Well, I'm all grown up now

And still need help somehow

I'm not a child

But my heart still can dream

So here's my lifelong wish

My grown up Christmas list

Not for myself

But for a world in need

No more lives torn apart

That wars would never start

and wars would never start

And time would heal all hearts

And everyone would have a friend

And right would always win

And love would never end

This is my grown up Christmas list

As children we believed

The grandest sight to see

Was something lovely

Wrapped beneath our tree

Well heaven only knows

That packages and bows

Can never heal

A hurting human soul

No more lives torn apart

That wars would never start

And time would heal all hearts

And everyone would have a friend

And right would always win

And love would never end

This is my grown up Christmas list

What is this illusion called the innocence of youth

Maybe only in our blind belief can we ever find the truth

(there'd be)

No more lives torn apart

That wars would never start

And time would heal all hearts

And everyone would have a friend

And right would always win

And love would never end, oh

This is my grown up Christmas list

This is my only life long wish

This is my grown up Christmas list

Random Quotes

I only wish I knew you better

 You're my best friend 

 I'm always crying for you

 I guess this is goodbye 

     I trusted you & you hurt me

What it Means to Live

To live means to die

To die means to live

But to live one must first learn to love

Time and Time Again

From the past to the future that’s what it will be. Whether we are here or not, everything falls. Whether the Earth burns from the past or the future, whether the Earth shakes & rolls; only you can stop it all from happening. Only you can save the Earth. Only you can stop the Earth’s destruction & all the problems that will come from being in the future. Do you want to see the children run round the park without an inhaler? Or laugh at all the old times you shared with your friends?

         Why would you want the Earth to go back in time? To a time were the only things that stood were the volcanoes that reached to the sky above. Where there is no water, nothing but dried up rivers & burnings building where the children cry for water & can barely breathe in enough air. With more pain & agony, they keep on suffering, but there not the only ones soon the Polar bears & Elephant seals will be gone. The children will only know of the stories of the Great Antarctica. But yet that can be stopped now, here in the present time. Yet you still want to have so much of bad things you think are important.

         You look back at all the things you should have done to help Mother Nature & yet you didn’t, you had to sit & complain that you need to have this car or having the air conditioner on or playing on the computer all day long & not turning it off when you’re done on it. You never turned the lights out when you left a room for more than an half an hour. As you look back at all your mistakes you remembered someone telling you that all of this could be stopped but you can’t believe they were right & you were wrong. Some of the things you thought were important aren’t that important any more to you as you sit in your home with an air tank next to you, you remember that there was a time where you were one of the few to help the Earth in its time of need  & not worry about your hair & make up. That all of this because you needed to have a car & use up all the water on your long showers.

         You still don’t understand that there was a time a time when you could have stopped Global Warming. The air pollution & acid rain everything is gone nothing is left but empty streets filled with ashes & dust. You never hear the howl of a wolf in the night or the birds’ creping in the day time. With the lighting storms that strike out in the night sky near your window as you watch the acid rain fall down the window glass.

         The past is always the same but the future isn’t. If you start now it could change. In the past there was little air to breath & it was very Hot. Not enough water to live in the past. Not enough of anything. But that changed when it stared to rain for years apon years, & brought the frist life.

         Do you think that will happen twice? Maybe it will, maybe it want. But for now we should take care of what we have. Love the Earth! 

Where I go

Why do I know that every one is looking at me

But not seeing me.

They see what I want them to see & no one sees me.

But why?

Why is it so hard to let every one know who you are & were you came from?

Why can't I let myself go & run the forest floor?

I never want to rememberer my past ,

I never want to remember my stories,

Never will I want to go back to were I started,

Never will I want to be the person I used to be,

Never do I want to go back

One True Friendship

You have one real friend & you don’t know what you should do. Should you go to them & help them or leave them for some one else.  Do you really want to lose your friendship with them? Do you really need another want flake who will leave you when things get though? Or do you want your one true friendship?

Small Day

I sit alone and wonder things that only I would wonder. Things that really shouldn't be there, but why am I to be left alone to think such things. I am only a lie, a story has not been told. A story that has been going on for years be for any one ever thought possible, but why must I be the one who has to save them. Why can't they  themselves in there time of need? Now this is how my day went but why? Why wasn't day so small? Why couldn't I of been a dream in some kids mind? A nightmare of someones past that they forgot? A mere memory that dances across your mind. Why not?

One Moment

You have one moment in life what do you take? You have one choose to live or die do you want death or live? Do you want to go around with nothing to show for your self? What is more important to you to live or sit around & do nothing?